I was lying in bed this morning thinking about my life from high school on out.  I had recently gotten a comment from one of my high school friends that said I was “one of a kind”.  The funny thing about that is nothing that would normally seem shocking to others; playing rugby, coming out, moving to New Orleans, working at a Strip club, performing Burlesque, moving to New York; those things were not surprising.  It was the mundane; joining a sorority,getting engaged to a man, becoming an accountant; that shocked them.  I guess there is some truth to who you are at a very young age will be who you are when you are older.

Tiny things, funny enough have stayed the same most of the time.  I always say I get along with men better than women but in reality the majority of my friends are women with a few select amazing men thrown in. (this is my shout out to you guys, Greg, Joey, Tom, Abe) I loved my posse of chicas from high school, Lola, Bunny, Nikita, Roxy and Cha Cha.  This is when Bambi was born and while I might be the only one still going by my nickname, there were personality traits I still see in all these women today.  These women are a perfect example of how we have all changed and yet, I think we still have the same inner workings we had back then.

In college, that was the one time I didn’t have a majority of female friends.  I mean, I ran in huge groups of women, my sorority sisters and my rugby team but it was the fraternity, Tau Kappa Epsilon that I really connected with. They viewed me as a the female equivalent to their brothers and I did feel like those guys were my family.  I remember they were the first group of people on campus I came out to. Well, my new girlfriend on the rugby team also, she knew a little bit before they did but as a whole, they were the firsts.  They were so supportive, I remember sitting at lunch helping some of the brothers figure out the signs some girls were sending them while we rated the other girls that walked by, it was awesome.  They supported me fully and I did for them. So many of them pop into my head while I write this it would be unfair to list just because they all mean so much to me as a whole.  That’s not to say I didn’t have incredible friendships with my sisters, it was just, I was never able to come out to them and I regret that.  I feel like while I did find out some intrinsic information about myself in college, for the first 3.5 years I was so worried about what everyone else thought that I didn’t get to figure myself out enough.

I did however get to figure myself in New Orleans.  Finding out I didn’t like office work, that even if I could rake in over $1,000 in a night I wouldn’t work for people that questioned my ethics, I could stand up to the man and not back down, that there was a passion for performing in me that was not getting met.  These are things I found out there, I also went back to my primarily female friends only this time with a twist. Most of my friends were gay like me.  I loved the crazy adventures I would go on with Jenna, how Andrea’s family accepted me into their fold. I also found my religion in New Orleans and that gave me something to use to better myself mentally and to form a foundation for the type of life I wanted.  I loved my church family very much and I constantly miss them and know they would be proud of me. It’s funny how if I could have stayed in New Orleans I was going to start go -go dancing, yet, due to elements out of my control I had to leave and that was put on hold and yet, I made it back to that anyways.

The initial moving to DC was a shock for everyone that knew me, Bambi’s living at home with her dad?? Bambi got a job as an accountant??? These things did not make sense to me but they were the things that had to happen at that moment in my life. Thank God I met my friend Kalyn at that job or else I would have lost it long before I finally did.  Once I was able to get out of that house though I found myself searching for a way to fulfill that passion to perform. I did that through my family with the Gurly show.  There were people in the troupe I didn’t trust but that’s par for the course.  There were however people in that troupe that helped me find my own voice as a performer and have always encouraged me to create.  Coco, Ginger, Roxy and Codie were my girls through thick and thin with that group.  They were there when others were cruel and being nasty, when I started to deal with the weight gain due to my medicine, they supported me no matter what and I love them all dearly for that.  They were actually some of the biggest supporters in me following my dream and moving to New York.

Now I am here and it all comes back full circle.  When I was about 9 or 10 I would dream of how I was going to move to New York City and become a Broadway actress.  I could envision my one room hole with a hot plate and how I would survive on rice and beans.  I would have nothing to my name but I would be living my dream.  In high school I got voted “Most likely to move to Hollywood” which was only because they didn’t have a “Most likely to move to New York City”.  Somewhere along my journey (about mid way through college) I started to think how unprobable that dream was, that I would never move to New York. But somehow, from figuring out who I was on the inside, a performer, and meeting the right people, The Wasabasco Crew, World Famous *Bob*, Fem Appeal, I found myself coming up here every month.  I started bringing my wife with me, she fell in love with this city and we took the jump.  In some ways it’s been amazing; we have an incredible apartment, we have made really awesome friends, we have a support network we never imagined having; and in someways it’s been hard; I still don’t have employment, I broke my ankle and have been unable to perform for the past 3 months solid; but over all this was the right decision for us and it feels like the truest option for us.  I am a performer, I always have been, I continue to be regardless of the hate that is out there and will continue in some form or another till the day I die.  Everything comes full circle, I dyed my hair pink in high school and pink continues to be my color of choice most often when dying my hair.

When you know who you are, you cannot deny that for anyone or anything.  You just have to have faith that it will all work itself out and that the world is larger than you are.  You just have to go with it.

Huggles and Kisses lovelies.

The new hair with some serious Drag makeup on

Oh my goodness, new York City is turning out to be a great trip this time around.  Had an amazing night Saturday with my brother, his friends and the PiC.  We went to the Pinchbottom’s “The Bawdy House”.  Everyone in it was amazing as they ever are.  It’s such an inspiration to see such performers.  Afterwards the PiC and I headed over to the Bowery Poetry Club to catch BadAss!  I love that show.  I was really happy to see Velocity Chyld’s knife number, talk about dark and sexy.

Sunday was spent sleeping in and going to a photo shoot.  I had so much fun and I’m really excited to see the artwork that comes out of it.  It’s going to be intense and I love intense.  Kitty Nights at Bar on A was great!  The line up was wonderful.  I even got a standing date with Ferro!  I’m so excited to go out with that sexy man.  No worries, I’m not leaving the PiC anytime soon.  We also ran into some great old friends, Belle Curves and Grace’s Anatomy not to mention all out friends in the show.  We had a blast.  We also made some new friends and had more fun that can even be expressed in words.  Life is full of new experiences, that’s for sure.

So today kind of ended up being a wash.  We had hoped to go out but were so pooped getting in at 8 am that we just crashed and then hung with Kissy Wishes and Weirdee Girl.  Did go out long enough to get some coffee though, that was nice.  Tonight will be exciting though.  I’m nervous about debuting my fire tassels here in NY.  I’ll have my amazing safety with me though and it’s with the crew of Wasabasco so I’ll be surrounded by loved ones.  IT will be good.

Phew, longer than I thought but I think I’m going to try to shut my eyes for a few and then get ready for the show.  We are planning for another intense night.

huggles and kisses!

So it has been a week, I’m so sorry for the hold up. I’ve been fighting a really bad chest infection, still am but luckily the server is now changed over completely and I can tell you about the fabulousness that was my weekend.

Well it started off with the PiC surprising me with an early trip up to New York.  She had worked out the details with a friend she knew wouldn’t blow the cover and we drove up after work and met up our friends Weirdee Girl and Menace at an art Gallery in Newark.  We heard this awesome band called Kilsy play, a kind of female Cure sound to it.  And just jammed out.  It had already been a long day and so we ended it with some delicious middle eastern food in Weirdee’s living room and then crashed.

The next morning we overslept and I almost missed the amazing gift Weirdee had set me up with, studio space! She reserved me an hour in a dance studio so I could practice with my fans since I had not gotten a chance to yet and was stressing.  I rode the subway there, like a big girl! and rehearsed.  It was awesome.  I felt so much better about my routine and about the whole show on Monday thanks to this.  I then head back to Weirdee’s and we pack up for the show that night.  I fell into the slot of stage kitten for the Merkinettes since unfortunately their’s had sprained her ankle.  Luckily I had some extra costuming with me so we loaded up the cars and headed out.

I had such a wonderful time with Lil Miss Lixx and Fem Appeal in the car and more so with all of the girls at the show! Stormy Leather, Lady Aye and the rest were amazing performers and people.  We had such a blast at Asbury Lanes.  The management was so accomodating and friendly, I know I will be going back just to enjoy the place.  After the show Stromy, PiC and I bowled while the rest had a dance party around us.  We closed the place down and then drove back to the Big City to get some sleep.

As the hostess with the Mostess, Weirdee Girl made us breakfast before sending us off on our ways.  It was delicious and a great way to start ones Sunday off.  We gave our hugs to Menace and Weirdee and left them so PiC could drop me off in Manhattan at the hostel I was going to be staying at with the rest of the troupe.  I say my goodbyes to my love and meet up with some of my fellow troupe mates.

The four of us, Paco, Sable and Viola end up getting unpacked and head out to dinner.  we found an amazing authentic Ukranian Restaurant and have the most amazing pierogies.  After filling our tummies and the rest of the troupe showing up we head out for our events for the evening.  Sable, and Viola join me for the Liz Renay Tribute that was INCREDIBLE!  I can’t even name all the amazing talent I saw but World Famous Bob was an incredible host, the acts were breathtaking and everyone was so gracious.  After the show I think I spoke with almost all of them!  Such amazing personalities and talent, in pure awe.

We then headed back to the hostel and got some form of sleep.  The next day we loaded the cars and headed to Brooklyn to spend the day wandering the streets and shopping.  I got some amazing deals, a fabulous black satin summer coat, some hair falls, amazing eyelashes, a cute headband ear warmy thingy, and a pink umbrella!  I almost got a black sequin dress but the Salvation Army was being a stickler for the whole no tag no sell policy, blah.  We then just tried to recoup before the show and got ready.

The Kick Off show for Monday night Burlesque was a lot of fun.  Dulce de Leche made a fun host and I have a new super hero, Mistress B.  Check this lady out! The performers definitely got the audience ready for us as did the minx of a go-go dancer, Gigi LaFemme.  I did my pie routine in the first act and my head was just not in the right space.  Everyone who saw it thought it was great but I was not happy.  Luckily the fan dance went without a hitch.  The timing,the costuming, the speed, it was great. I am so glad I got to show my stuff to my pals of Wasabassco, they are a true inspiration in my world.  It was a super fun time and I felt closer to people that I have just known than I have ever felt.

But the good times soon piled into the car and drove back to Baltimore where I drove another 2 hours and went right to work and where my sinus infection worked itself from my nose into my lungs and now we are back to where we are now! Expect another post later today about the event tomorrow, it will be grrrrrreat!

I have been gone all but one day and already I want to be back.  The lights, the sounds, the people, they make me feel at home.  I had such an amazing experience and the PiC did as well.  I will do my best to recreate all the fabulousness for you all but it will be hard to remember everything and to put it into words.

So we arrive crazy late Friday, actually Saturday morn and it was snowing!! We’ve been told here in DC to forget about snow for Christmas so that felt like a gift unto itself.  Max the Magician was kind enough not only to open his home to us but to also pick us up, thank goodness.  It was craziness trying to just figure out where we were, lol.  We get to the apartment and promptly crash and burn.  It was nice.

The next morn we got up and I was super excited because the PiC was finally going to get to meet one of my super idols, World Famous *Bob*! She had invited us over for brunch so we went and she made this amazing Mexican egg dish thingy that was to die for.  Moviestar was as loving as ever and remembered me which of course felt good and fell instantaneously in love with PiC, go figure. We talked and played with the poodle noodle and just had a relaxing morning until it was time to leave and then we went back to the apartment to prepare for the evening of debauchery.  We were going to try and fit as many shows as possible into one night, I mean, when in NY for a weekend you got to make it worthwhile!  

So we primp and prep and head down to the Slipper Room to celebrate three years of Dr. Sketchy’s.  We saw Molly Crabapple there who was just as lovely as I remembered her.  I also saw my dear friend Fem Appeal who is so professional and funny and gorgeous, and booked me in her show I also met Nic Sin who is better known as the Mini Marylin Manson.  I bet he hates this term, most men do, but he was a cutey.  I got to say, not a bad looking man.  Not switching teams anytime soon but a girl can still appreciate. I also ran into Perle Noir who I was to be performing with the next day.  She’s also from New Orleans so I felt a kinship to her from that, stunning lady.

From the Slipper Room we skirted off to Union Hall to catch two shows in one! First we saw a fabulous recreation of a classic christmas story, “How the Pinch stole X-mas”.  I must tell you, I liked it better than the original.  Johnny was so fun to watch acting it up and Nasty Canasta was her usual saucy sexy self.  My favorite honeys were there, Gigi La Femme and anita Cookie.  Gigi made the PiC’s christmas by performing her favorite routine that I don’t perform, her spanking number, it’s goooood.  Anita was as cute as a latke and I adore her even more so now.  Tigger was also in the first show and I have to say, photos don’t do this man justice.  You can’t even begin to capture his energy and sincerity in those photos but I have to say I fell in love.  Tigger, you are in my heart forever now and I can only hope I am ever so blessed to perform with you some day, I wish upon a star for that.  Clams Casino also did her oh too cute irish christmas jig which meant we got to hang with Neil O’Fortune in the audience, yay! There I also met Allen the photographer who had amazing pics from their christmas the year before. After that show ws over there was another one this time including Sapphire Jones.  What a tall glass of water that one is! I never feel short but this girl had legs upon legs! A fun show that was too!  Doc was accommodating and sweet like he always is and I hope he knows I would help then out in any way I could think to.  It was a great place to see some fabulous performances by some performers I like to consider friends.

Then we rushed off to catch BadAss! at the Bowery Poetry Club, told you we went everywhere!  The band Trauma Team was already playing when we got there but we were able to catch their song Toxic Shock Syndrome, a new favorite me thinks.  I fell in love with the concept of the show and truly hope that I can work something out to perform in it someday.  IT’s burlesque pushed ot the edge, not your pretty soft burlesque but your in your face, make you a little uncomfortable and like it burlesque.  It started off with this beautiful song being sung by Melody Sweets that ended up with a corseted blindfolded Stormy Leather underneath her skirt, hot! Fifi Dupree performed as the cutest vomiting devil I’ve ever seen, lol.  Ferro a gorgeous hula hooper was an eye pleaser, as was *Bob* tribute to Bettie Page.  Tigger performed the same routine but to metal and sans bottoms, amazing!  Whenever I need a laugh in a politicall incorrect way I’ll just think cripple dance.  Velocity Chyld and Nik Sin both showed movies they created, both amazing in their own different ways.  Nik’s was shot by Val Kilmer and was about a disgruntled elf and Velocity’s was a music video shot with her band Vulgarus.  Wow.  My favorites of the night had to be Darlinda just Darlinda’s Mary/ Jesus, number and Julie Atlas Muz’s performance piece.  Both, very different but awe inspiring in their own rights.  I was so inundated by talent that I was in talent shock.  Of course there were performers in the audience as well, my lovah, Weirdee girl was there as was the sexy bitch Aurora Boobrealis. I also met the photographer Ed Barnas which was neat! We didn’t get home till at least 3 or 4 and I don’t think I fell asleep till well after 5 just being hopped up on inspiration.

The next morn weall piled in Max’s car once more and went to SxyB for brunch.  We were met up by Weirdee Girl and Menace.  I love that dude.  He’s so laid back and a perfect compliment to Weirdee Girl, much like I feel about my PiC.  We ate deliciousness and talked about all sorts of nonsense. We then headed back to the apartment so I could rehearse and get everything together.  I knew I wouldn’t know if I was to be barefoot or not till I got to the venue, the Bar on A, so I rehearsed both ways.  We left early which was ok cause I got ot get ready there.  Fem was already there and prepared, we hung out, Weirdee showed up and we goofed off then everyone else showed.  Fifi, Stormy, Perle and our hostess with the incredible mostess, Shelly the singing siren.  What a woman! The show went without a hitch. This also thanks to LaMona our pick up and Philly caramel our door gal.  I was really well received. They loved the cookies.  Shelly was too great a host.  The audience was awesome.  Aurora was there, as was RunAround Sue, Plum and Della Dare.  There were a few other girls but their names are escaping me, I’m sorry!!! Tina, a family friend also made though she did miss my routine, it was still awesome to see her.  There was talk of going to an afterparty but we ended up just staying at the bar having a blast. Weirdee Girl and I were like two little high schoolers which is fun in and of itself.   Well high schoolers in their parent’s liquor cabinet, lol.  Another night in which we did not get home till probably around 3.

Monday was spent in the Garment District.  I was so overwhelmed by everything they had and wanted to buy it all up!  I did get quite a bit but held onto a little bit of cash so I could get the items to attach all the doodads to! I am too excited to get creating which I will probably do tonight since I have another show at the end of the week.  Yes, that right, I perform in NY just to come home and perform in DC.  Saturday I will be at my home of Palace of Wonders performing in the Rockabilly Creature Feature with the adorable Lizzie Furr.  Expect 3 routines from each of us and the amazing men of Brokedown Playboys.  They will get you worked into a frenzy I tell ya!

So come out, it will be good after Christmas fun!

Here’s a pic of the silliness that is Weirdee Girl and I.And here’s the info for the show on Saturday!

Huggles and Kisses and many merry wishes!

So did any of you little goblins make it out to Palace last night for “The Best Halloween Show Ever”? Because that is exactly what it was. The best. I’m so glad I was able to get in, wouldn’t have probably happened if the PiC wasn’t working the door. It was sold out by Wednesday so she was having to turn people away left and right.

I was so impressed with all the performers. They are all truly amazing and I’m not to full of myself to say I am their fan. It’s something I love about burlesque. It’s ok to idolize and be amazed by the other performers. It’s not cut-throat trying to make yourself bigger and better than the other one. It’s about teamwork and building the community base, empowering the people that are interested in it as a performer or a patron. I just get so amazed when I see a good show that it really makes inspired.

I was inspired too last night in my costume as well. My grandmother had sent me a box of harlequin dolls which in all honesty kind of creep me out. But I love their faces at the same time so I went as one. I thought I looked really good and luckily if it was a little off that was ok since those things are handpainted and sometimes come out a little jacked. So guess what. I got 1st runner up in the Sexiest Costume contest! I didn’t enter, they went through the crowd and selected the contestants. I wasn’t trying to compete, I was just trying to have fun. It might have seemed shady if I had one first place since I did know the entire cast and they did call me up by name and not by costume. I think it was funny that the girl that tied with me was enamored by my jumblies as one highly inebriated young man called them last night. So I let the stage with my prize of Wasabasco hot sauce and felt like a winner anyways.

My favorite part of the night however was after the show and the bar finally closed. Almost the entire gang hung around to celebrate some exciting news. I don’t know if it’s mine to say so I won’t but I am truly, honestly so happy for this person. They completely deserve it for all that they have done. We have clashed heads in the past but we respect each other and know that we are both good at what we do. I’m really to see what the future brings for them! So anyways, we did shots, drank champagne, stood on the porch in the cold talking about everything. These are my people, this is the community I belong in. My spirit is one of an artist and its just so nice to be in a room with the same liked souls. A room with with the same burning passion. It was a fabulous halloween.

Oh! I also may be having some exciting news of my own to put up here as well! If I do, its going to be work but I think I’m ready for it and it’s time to go to the next level. And trust me, i you think you have beaten this game, there is always another level.

huggles and kisses and bellyaches brought on by too much halloween candy!!

So I am in New York, New York! I am going to sound like a child but I am so excited!! I have so much freedom to do whatever I want, see whatever I want, go wherever I want it’s surreal.

I am thinking I must do my best to see as many friends as possible. That means I will be more than likely heading to Coney Island tomorrow. I will pray that they have cotton candy. I loooove cotton candy!!

But what I’m really excited for is my first New York show! I will be in Monday Night Burlesque on guess what day? It’s at the Public Assembly at 70 N. 6th St, Williamsburg- Brooklyn. It starts at 9, which is nice for all those that have to work Tuesday. Doesn’t really matter for those of us that just get to go on a picnic on Tuesday

I truly feel like this is a big break and step for my career. I am more than honored and humbled by all the company I will be keeping this weekend. I can only hope that I make them proud.

Huggles and Kisses sweetums!

Hey everyone!

It’s been an amazing bit of time here. The shows were amazing especially the one with Miss Dirty Martini, The World Famous *Bob* and Sugar Ann Spice. Those ladies were incredible.

I consider Sugar a good friend, she actually came to my wedding! I hope I can now consider Dirty and *Bob* friends as well. They were so sweet and friendly. The energy backstage was amazing. From the moment we got there we were all just so comfortable with each other. I came bearing gifts of hair flowers that I made and *Bob* took one of my favorites and Dirty took some of my PiC (Partner in Crime)’s favorites. Which was really cool. Dirty gifted Sugar and myself autographed head shots which I cannot wait to frame and hang. *Bob* is just the truest definition of humble. She made me so excited and nervous all at once that I have not felt that way since my first show! Both ladies have offered me info and potential get togethers when I go up to perform in New York….

…Which I will be doing at the end of August! I will be one of the “Fresh Faces ” in Monday Night Burlesque. I am so honored and humbled that the crew from Wasabasco would ask me to do this. I love those boys and girls. They are so talented so to be considered by them makes me giggly happy.

I know that I have told you all I was going to be better about posting so I’m sure you are all wondering why this one was so long coming. Well if you must know a page in my life has turned and I am starting a new chapter. This chapter has involved my PiC and I moving to the country. We are just far enough from the city that it is quiet, we have space (inside and out) but close enough to make it in for shows. Thus far it has not proven to be an issue. Best part, I have a burlesque ROOM!! A place to put up all my inspiration photos, to keep all my costumes and create piece and rehearse. IT’s amazing. I can say I have felt more inspired out here, expect some new numbers to be coming out soon!

So life is good, I have made heart connections with two women I can call sisters in burlesque and there is just much happiness in my heart. I hope there is in yours too.

huggles and kisses!!