I was lying in bed this morning thinking about my life from high school on out.  I had recently gotten a comment from one of my high school friends that said I was “one of a kind”.  The funny thing about that is nothing that would normally seem shocking to others; playing rugby, coming out, moving to New Orleans, working at a Strip club, performing Burlesque, moving to New York; those things were not surprising.  It was the mundane; joining a sorority,getting engaged to a man, becoming an accountant; that shocked them.  I guess there is some truth to who you are at a very young age will be who you are when you are older.

Tiny things, funny enough have stayed the same most of the time.  I always say I get along with men better than women but in reality the majority of my friends are women with a few select amazing men thrown in. (this is my shout out to you guys, Greg, Joey, Tom, Abe) I loved my posse of chicas from high school, Lola, Bunny, Nikita, Roxy and Cha Cha.  This is when Bambi was born and while I might be the only one still going by my nickname, there were personality traits I still see in all these women today.  These women are a perfect example of how we have all changed and yet, I think we still have the same inner workings we had back then.

In college, that was the one time I didn’t have a majority of female friends.  I mean, I ran in huge groups of women, my sorority sisters and my rugby team but it was the fraternity, Tau Kappa Epsilon that I really connected with. They viewed me as a the female equivalent to their brothers and I did feel like those guys were my family.  I remember they were the first group of people on campus I came out to. Well, my new girlfriend on the rugby team also, she knew a little bit before they did but as a whole, they were the firsts.  They were so supportive, I remember sitting at lunch helping some of the brothers figure out the signs some girls were sending them while we rated the other girls that walked by, it was awesome.  They supported me fully and I did for them. So many of them pop into my head while I write this it would be unfair to list just because they all mean so much to me as a whole.  That’s not to say I didn’t have incredible friendships with my sisters, it was just, I was never able to come out to them and I regret that.  I feel like while I did find out some intrinsic information about myself in college, for the first 3.5 years I was so worried about what everyone else thought that I didn’t get to figure myself out enough.

I did however get to figure myself in New Orleans.  Finding out I didn’t like office work, that even if I could rake in over $1,000 in a night I wouldn’t work for people that questioned my ethics, I could stand up to the man and not back down, that there was a passion for performing in me that was not getting met.  These are things I found out there, I also went back to my primarily female friends only this time with a twist. Most of my friends were gay like me.  I loved the crazy adventures I would go on with Jenna, how Andrea’s family accepted me into their fold. I also found my religion in New Orleans and that gave me something to use to better myself mentally and to form a foundation for the type of life I wanted.  I loved my church family very much and I constantly miss them and know they would be proud of me. It’s funny how if I could have stayed in New Orleans I was going to start go -go dancing, yet, due to elements out of my control I had to leave and that was put on hold and yet, I made it back to that anyways.

The initial moving to DC was a shock for everyone that knew me, Bambi’s living at home with her dad?? Bambi got a job as an accountant??? These things did not make sense to me but they were the things that had to happen at that moment in my life. Thank God I met my friend Kalyn at that job or else I would have lost it long before I finally did.  Once I was able to get out of that house though I found myself searching for a way to fulfill that passion to perform. I did that through my family with the Gurly show.  There were people in the troupe I didn’t trust but that’s par for the course.  There were however people in that troupe that helped me find my own voice as a performer and have always encouraged me to create.  Coco, Ginger, Roxy and Codie were my girls through thick and thin with that group.  They were there when others were cruel and being nasty, when I started to deal with the weight gain due to my medicine, they supported me no matter what and I love them all dearly for that.  They were actually some of the biggest supporters in me following my dream and moving to New York.

Now I am here and it all comes back full circle.  When I was about 9 or 10 I would dream of how I was going to move to New York City and become a Broadway actress.  I could envision my one room hole with a hot plate and how I would survive on rice and beans.  I would have nothing to my name but I would be living my dream.  In high school I got voted “Most likely to move to Hollywood” which was only because they didn’t have a “Most likely to move to New York City”.  Somewhere along my journey (about mid way through college) I started to think how unprobable that dream was, that I would never move to New York. But somehow, from figuring out who I was on the inside, a performer, and meeting the right people, The Wasabasco Crew, World Famous *Bob*, Fem Appeal, I found myself coming up here every month.  I started bringing my wife with me, she fell in love with this city and we took the jump.  In some ways it’s been amazing; we have an incredible apartment, we have made really awesome friends, we have a support network we never imagined having; and in someways it’s been hard; I still don’t have employment, I broke my ankle and have been unable to perform for the past 3 months solid; but over all this was the right decision for us and it feels like the truest option for us.  I am a performer, I always have been, I continue to be regardless of the hate that is out there and will continue in some form or another till the day I die.  Everything comes full circle, I dyed my hair pink in high school and pink continues to be my color of choice most often when dying my hair.

When you know who you are, you cannot deny that for anyone or anything.  You just have to have faith that it will all work itself out and that the world is larger than you are.  You just have to go with it.

Huggles and Kisses lovelies.

The new hair with some serious Drag makeup on

I have just come back to reality from my amazing vacation.  It did take me till today to finally get my feet back on land so that I could write hello’s to you all, sorry!  I may write more another time about the amazing week I had but right now I just want to make you all aware of the awesomeness that is upon us.

In the next three days, today included you will have a chance to see me on a stage.  I know! It’s exciting! Lots of performing.  Tonight is a benefit show for the DC Rape Crisis Center at BeBar.  I will be amongst amazing sisters from the DC Gurly Show along with Oohzee… God that woman just makes me melt…. There is also a fun quiz game before the show so if you are wondering what to do go ahead and come out.  It’s for a good cause.

Tomorrow night I get to gay it up in old Baltimore.  I will be performing in the Super Gay Cabaret presented by Strange Powers at Grand Central.  There will be gender performers of all types and I’ll be there to cool the crowd off with my fans.

Friday night I think is the most exciting of all.  I will be stage kittening for the Pretty Things Peep Show in Fredericksburg, VA!  Burlesque is coming down to my quiet neck of the woods.  Go-go Amy has put together an amazing line up and has given me the honor to help them out.  I am really excited about this because Go-go Amy was one of my first inspirations in burlesque.  I love her costumes and her smile and it will just be great to meet her!  This show will be at KC’s Music Alley so look it up and check it out.  Also, if you have always wanted to try out your pin-up side they will be doing lessons before the show.  Full vintage makeup and hair and photos and then a show!  It will be good times.

So I now have to go get ready for the show tonight!  Thank goodness I laid out my costume last night, lol.  I really am not ready for everyday life yet.  Vacation was just too magical.  I’ll talk more but for now, I just hope I get to see some of you out.

Huggles and kisses

Is packing for new York City.  I was hoping to be on the road in 30 minutes.  I don’t think that is going to happen.  Instead I am using the time that the PiC is in the shower to write you all, hello!  It’s been a busy few weeks and I apologize for not posting more.  (Doesn’t it feel like I’m always saying I’m busy??)

The show in Richmond went fabulously, the girls were so wonderful to work with and the audience w so in tune.  I was really happy with the end result of my routine even if my glitter didn’t give me the effect I was hoping for.  I’m still picking glitter off of me, lol.  I truly hope I get to work with all those lovely ladies again and if you want to see what you missed, there are photos in the Twilight Images photo gallery.  

Sunday up in Baltimore was great too!  I was so nervous before hand but once the class got started everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves.  People were playing with boas and gloves and seemed to all be finding that inner sex vixen that needs to come out every now and then.  I even am having one of the lovely ladies help out in my show next week!  I am truly grateful to Sugar for giving me the opportunity to teach there and can’t wait for the follow up course!

Going back to Twilight Images I actually had a photo shoot with them on Tuesday.  It was a Marie Antoinette, “Let them Eat Cake” theme.  Everything was going to be pink and over the top and covered in sugar.  I chose to do this shoot for those reasons as well as another.  I wanted to do a shoot surrounded by sugar and sweets because I love myself and those things do play into my size.  I am a larger performer, you can’t hide that fact.  It’s not something that hinders me though, it gives me another reason to perform.  To show other larger women that we are sexy.  That we are talented.  That we are worth more that what society tells us we are worth.  I love that I am able to share that message with others just by doing what I love.  If you don’t like my size, don’t look, but know that I am not going to stop or be stopped because of it.  Everyone isn’t into the same body shape and type and I just give more variety and flavor to the audience.  I know that my schedule hasn’t gotten thinner as I’ve gotten bigger, lol.  But back to the shoot, it was amazing fun, Melody, the photographer was uber talented and we shot FOREVER!  Liv Lethal did my makeup and the wig and if I could I’d just hire her to make me look that gorgeous all the time.  Here’s a sneak peek of a pic.  I will hopefully add the rest later this week.

This week is going to be even more craziness though.  I will do my darnedest to update but in case I’m unable, here’s a list of what I have coming up.

• Sunday: “Kitty Nights” at the Bar on A (170 Avenue A, NY,NY) at 9.  It’s being hosted by the amazing Lady Aye and has all the beautiful people in it.  A fun cozy family fun night.
• Monday: “Monday Night Burlesque: The Kickoff!” at Public Assembly (70 North 6th Street, Brooklyn, NY) at 9.  Hosted by the the funny Johnny Porkpie I’ll be bringing the “heat to NYC.
• Tuesday: “Weirdee Girl and Menace: Boob Tube Animation” at Identity (511 E 6th Street, NY,NY) at 9:30.  One of my favorite burly couples brings to life your childhood fantasies with some of NYC funniest ladies and me!
• Wednesday: “DC Gurly Show Meetings” at BeBar (1318 8th Street NW, DC) at 7 and 8.  Come at 7 for our Newbie meeting and at 8 for our regular business meeting.
• Thursday: “Drrty Dancing” at Palace of Wonders (1210 H St NE, DC) at 10.  I will be bringing to life the music from what seems to be everyone’s favorite Dance movie with some of my favorite performers.
• Friday: SLEEP!!

Oh my goodness so I didn’t even get a chance to promote the two amazing shows I did this week because I was so busy working on them.  Let m tell you though, the shows still were massive successes and the routines were amazing!!

On Thursday night I was invited to be part of the Weirdo Show which is always such a blast.  It’s always a mix of friends and new faces and this show was no different.  There were the amazing talents of Professor Sprocket and Malibu of course and then Otto KnowBetter and Charon were both there!  I haven’t seen those two in so long and they are always so sweet and such a blast to work with.  Charon is one of the most multi-talented women I have ever met.  She tattoos, swallows swords, makes costumes and web designs! And a good web designer at that, just look at this page!   Back to the show though! There were some also amazing talent I had never met before.  I wasn’t the only burlesque act as we had Miss Leed’um from England with us.  What a cute and funny broad!  Her routine had me in stitches the whole time.  It was so cool to see what is going on on the other side of the pond.  There was also a Surprise there, the hula hooper, Surprise!  I missed her routine but if her costume or music was any indication it was fabulous.  The show was great, the audience ample and engaging and the Palace as magnificent as ever.  I didn’t know how Friday night was going to be any better.

Oh, but it was.  Friday night I was back to do the Dutch Oven.  Another show I am always honored to be part of because of the caliber of talent included and last night was no exception.  Of course we had the undisputably cutest burlesque couple in DC L’il Dutch and Gary Gutter but we also had that sweet morsel Candy Del Rio and French delight, Oui Oui Non Non.  All of them brought their A games and it showed.  We also had two debut performers Ava After Dark and Delia Aces.  I felt horrible because of the line up I wasn’t able to catch their acts but I could tell the audience loved them.  The energy backstage was great and everyone was helping everyone else, the way it should be. I really like the routines I did as I kept true to who I am as a performer instead of feeding to what the audience wants.  And they liked it!  My humor came across, my sexiness came across and my daringness came across, in that order, lol. My final number was incredible.  I

I have been working wit Satan’s Angel on her signature talent, fire tassels.  I am still needing more practice but I had them down enough to perform them last night.  It was awesome in the truest sense of the word.  I had her picture with me for support on stage as the routine was about putting a voodoo spell on someone to break a love curse.  The audience got the theme and the loved my take on it and I hope I made Satan’s Angel proud.  She is such an inspiration to me and I am so happy to have brought her magic to DC.

It is good to have a few days off but only a few days will I be getting.  I have a rehearsal on Wednesday and then I’ll be back at the Palace for the DC Gurly Show Anniversary show on Thursday.  This show is going to be so chockful of talent you won’t know what to do with it.  We are bringing back some of the veteran members as well as having some of our more fresher faces.  These girls always light up the stage so I highly recommend coming out to celebrate 4 years of tassel twirling in the nation’s capitol. 

Now, I just want to take a second to say something a little more personal.  I have had some one close to me lose someone they love very dearly.  I just wanted them to know that while I haven’t been able to say everything that I wanted to them that they are in my heart and I know there is no consolation to the sorrow they are currently feeling.  Even though that is true I am deeply sorry for their loss and I hope they remember how amazing they are and that people do care about them deeply even if they don’t get to say it when they want to.

So on that note, make sure to tell the ones you love that you do because in the end you will always regret not saying it enough.  I know I do.

Huggles and kisses to you and yours

So yesterday was the sentencing of Patricia Yarrow.  She was sentenced with 30 days in jail, 18 months suspended and 2 years probation.  Patricia Yarrow also has to pay me restitution as part of her probation.  It was something, not what I think she deserved but I have to say I slept the fittest sleep I have slept since all of this started last night knowing she was in jail.  For those that don’t know or have forgotten, Patricia Yarrow was my best friend and roommate that stole my identity.  After running the court around for a year she finally plead guilty to 2 counts federal felony of Identity theft, 2 misdemeanors or credit card fraud and one 2nd degree count of theft.  If it had gone to trial there was going to be 9 different charges.  Bet she didn’t realize that.  So she got off lucky, but not easy.  I will make sure to that.

Amazingly this does not slow down my life at all!  Last weekend I was Mrs. Claus at the Baltimore GLBT Center Christmas Craft and Art Fair.  It was so much fun.  Ian was a sweetheart and a great host and Paul was my wonderful partner in crime as Santa.  We were devilishly good and yet so sweet.  Maybe we were sweet from the delicious red velvet/buttercream cupcakes they had, my ultimate favorite!!!

But this week is not any lighter, I will be hosting the DC Gurly Show Newbie and Business meeting tomorrow at Be Bar.  It will be a meeting in which we will discuss future dates along with other business and always remember to stay after for the show!  It will be divine.

Friday night I’ll be in Baltimore making an appearance at the JF Christmas Show.  There will be some really awesome music and the sexy ladies of Gilded Lily wandering around.  Come on out and share a drink or two

Then I’ll be whisked off to the great city of New York! The PiC and I are going to be staying with an amazing gentleman and visiting with many amazing people.  Including Moviestar!! I miss that little poodlehead and her owner of course We have many brunches, many shows and many stores planned and I will also be performing when I’m there, oh yeah!  I will be at the Bar on A on Sunday night performing in Kitty Nights doing a new Christmas number (what the heck am I doing performing a new number in NY!!!) it will be a blast of fun times you don’t want to miss if you can help it!

I just hope I remember to bring my camera to show you all fabulous photos of the fun had in NY.  I love going into that city, and I am planning to do it more often come the new year! Mark my word.  

So now I’m probably going to get an early night to bed and it will be another blissful sleep of knowing justice may take time but it will eventually be served.

huggles and kisses!

Would not be as sweet. Last night’s number at Be Bar was insane. We had so much fun with it. Roxy Casbah, Codie Swift and myself did “Carwash” and lets just say, it was a hit. We had rehearsed but not enough to really be set in anything so we had all agreed, when in doubt, just wash each other. The audience dug that. We were so soapy and wet by the end of it but it was so obvious we were having a blast and that made the audience have a blast. And we didn’t even go down to pasties, that could have been dangerous, lol. But I was so happy to share the stage with one of my lil’s along with a dear friend. So sad for those that missed it!

The one thing that was awesome was that I got to reveal my newest addition on stage. Tuesday night I went over to British Ink Studios armed with an urn, a bottle of rum and a blender. I met up with Cynthia, an incredible talent and human being all over and she already had the design drawn up. It was perfect, we sized it exactly to match Snowball’s ashes and we started. The symmetry couldn’t be more perfect. I love tattooing with Cynthia because she is such an easy going spirit. She’s straight forward and has a huge warm heart and we share a lot in common. We talked about life, love, New Orleans, lost pets, more life, performing, photography, everything. One fun bit was I found a photo of my friend in one of the Tattoo Magazine’s getting pierced, that was amusing. She worked quickly and there was little to no pain. I just felt like part of me that was hidden under the skin was being allowed to show through. Like she was revealing something already in me. Tattoos are such a peaceful place for me to be mentally, very much a nirvana state of mind. Especially when done in a place with privacy, care, beauty and by someone who is an artist, not just an employee. Plus what is not to love when you can keep up with tradition and have a strawberry daiquiri after it’s all done.

When she finished the piece in 2.5 hours and I got to see the finished product I started to cry. It is exactly what I wanted and hoped it would be. I know Snowball is still with me. She is still leaving me gifts in her own way to let me know she is here. I may not see her but I know she is watching over me and trying to take care of me in the best way she can from the distance between us. She is an angel I have no doubt. I hope where ever she is she knows that I still love her and hope to pet her again some day. I didn’t want to let her go when I did but I had to do what was best. what I felt would cause her the least pain down the road. I hope she knows that.

So yes, art, art on stage and on my body. They are beautiful things and I am blessed for them. Another surprise blessing will be taking place tomorrow on another website. I am this week’s Candy Gram over on “The Candy Pitch”. It will be posted tomorrow sometime. I’m super excited and I hope my answers don’t sound too dorky! Let me know what you all think. Oh! And that reminds me, one feature on this website that can be annoying is that I only know the commenters by what you put in there. That can leave for some crazy shenanigans let me tell ya! But don’t you all go getting ideas now

Hope the world is showing its beauty to you all and that you remember the treasures that are in your life now and before.

So I am giving you your to do list for the week. Go out. There you go. It is done. Wasn’t that easy? Now I bet you are wondering, well where are am I suppose to go out? Well, lucky for you, I’ll tell you! Go out tomorrow to BeBar to see the DC Gurly Show, the DC Kings and the amazing Mab just Mab! I love her! I also love my Drag son, Rusty Nutz, and he will be performing along with me. It will be a good show! Then of course after the amazing show there will be dancing.

If tomorrow is too soon for ya then you should make it out to Palace of Wonders on Saturday. I am going to do my damnedest to be there but even if I’m not the show will be an amazing event. It is the Annual Pinup for Pit bulls fundraiser. This is an incredible organization that helps educate and protect bully breeds that get bad raps. The show will be fabulous and the money will be going to a good cause along with awesome raffles and auctions. Last year I won a tattoo! If I can be there to support I will be but if I can’t be you should. Prior to the show I am going to a Fall Festival for Fredericksburg Pride. It’s a potluck if you are interested in attending, let me know!

So now you have your to do list and I hope you take it seriously. Going out is what keeps you vibrant and alive. It’s how you meet new friends and reconnect with old ones. See you there!

huggles and kisses!

The burlesque weekend was a rousing success I think. It was a little more discombobulated then we originally had thought it would be but in the end we got to cover almost everything we had hoped for. One thing we did do that everyone wanted to do was learn to make pasties. So many cute pairs were made including a new pair of my own! I made them in hopes that I get picked up for a show in January. Call it positive thinking. They are Obama pasties! I will make a pair for you if you’d like if let me know. I think everyone should have them for inauguration!

I also got to do the fabulous fashion show at International Diva. The crowd was amazing. The clothes, even more so. Everything is so gorgeous and high quality. I bought my first animal print dress. A gorgeous Diana Von Furstenberg copy from NY. I’ll probably wear it after the show on Wednesday. I also met some really lovely girlies, who may also be coming with me to the show.

That’s right, it’s that time of the month where I perform at BeBar. It should be a great show. Remember it is 18 and up so come on out little ladies and gents. Starts at 10:30 like always but I will be there early like usual so keep an eye out and say hi!

Huggles and kisses puppies!

So I am spending a few minutes of silent peace before my house is inundated with burlesque beauties. The DC Gurly Show is having our first annual slumber party. It is going to be an amazing weekend of creativity, and inspiration. I have a lot to be inspired for, that’s for sure.

One of the things that I am really excited about to put time and energy into is my own show! I have been offered a bi-monthly gig at the Palace of Wonders. It shall be named Bambi’s Burlezk Experience a la Satan’s Angel. She is such an incredible woman and when I was given the offer I contacted her for advice. In that advice came a name and I think it fits. I am hoping to have drag, fire and your traditional burlesque along with other art forms thrown into my show over the year so it should be hella fun! I also love games so expect games. Time to turn off the tv’s people and come be part of entertainment!

One item that I will have to bring to my new show as well as other events is my christmas gift that I was given early! My mother, the amazing creature that she is (I mean come one, she birthed me!) and my doting dad got me fans! Not just any fans mind you. 50″ hot pink feather fans. In the words of my mom, “When we think of you we think hot pink.” How awesome is that?? I already have a routine I want to use them in if I get the gig, ahem ahem Goddess Perlman…

Besides that I’m super excited as I will be doing my first fashion show this weekend in Downtown Fredericksburg. I was just walking around, window shopping, and I found this amazing clothing store, International Diva. The dresses are too gorgeous and the tops make my top look, well pretty damn good, lol. Well I got to talking to the store owner and it turns out this Sunday, the 16th is their Grand Opening! She asked me if I could be her Drama Diva. Me?? Drama? I have no idea what the word even means. So I will be showing off the goods and by goods I mean clothing Sunday from 4 to 6. There will be food, drinks and The Vibe 99.3 will be dj-ing. It shall be blast.

So I look forward to seeing you all soon. If not this Sunday then I’ll be at Be Bar performing on Wednesday. More to hear about that later! I think I hear my first guest!

huggles and kisses

So as I promote the Palace of Wonders show for Friday but this Wednesday I will be getting down with the get down in honor of this great holiday. So come on out. Have some fun on hump day, hell maybe you can hump me JK!