So on Sunday is my sorta anniversary with my wife.  I say sorta because we were actually married on February 29th and there is no 29th this year so we like to celebrate it over 2 days, the 28th of February and the 1st if March.  It’s funny how sometimes it’s like wow, it’s only been 2 years and others its, wow, it’s only BEEN 2 years.  Everyday we are still finding out new things about each other and becoming more synched up to each others wants and desires.

I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging but I do quite often get compliments on our relationship.  Saying how we are just so compatible or we work so well together, that we are such a healthy couple.  I always thank the person but follow it up with, but it’s work to make it that way.  We didn’t always work on our relationship like the way you should.  A healthy relationship is like any living thing, it needs nurturing and sustenance otherwise it will shrivel and die and that’s what our’s almost did.

During our first year of marriage we thought, this is easy, you just go on as is.  We were wrong.  We both fell into habits which unbeknownst to us was pushing the other one away.  It got bad.  Real bad.  So bad in fact I did something I never thought I could do, I cheated on her.  With another woman.

This is not a fact that I am proud of but it is part of our journey and when I told her about it we had a choice.  Figure out a way to fix this, which my suggestion was counseling, or figure out how to separate.  Neither of us wanted to separate, we loved each other.  The cheating wasn’t the problem, it was only a symptom of the problem.  A problem both of us had and through counseling we were able to address those problems and become stronger from them.

Counseling was strange, some of the activities really opened our eyes to ourselves and each other, some were a good way to reconnect and others were just stupid.  But over all it made us reconnect and fall in love all over again.  We still bust out some of the practices we were taught just to show the other one that we are still cogniscent of the fact that this is a living entity and that we are still nurturing it.

I love her more today than I did when I married her.  I love that we have open communication and even during that dark time we were able to talk about it, even if through tears and loud voices.  I love that I know I have her support and she knows she has mine.  I love that through it all our trust of one another is deeper now than it ever was and no matter what people try to do they cannot break that bond.  She is my super hero, my lover, my biggest fan and my best friend.  Sure we fight, but we work through it.  And I think it’s that support and openness between us that others see and I hope that it will only continue to grow as we start another year together.

Huggles and Kisses!

A painting done of my wife and I by Molly Crabapple for LA's Manifest Equality Art Show

For me to forget my sweet pet, Snowball.  She was my confidant and best friend from the age of 5 until she passed away two years ago today.  She was my one constant, no matter what was going on, I had her in my life.  She never judged me, in fact, more than likely she still loved me regardless.  She would get mad when I would go on trips and give me the silent treatment when I would come home but sure enough, when it was time to go to sleep she would be curled up pressed against my back.

Please be kind to your animal friends.  They are living creatures and give us so much more than we could ever give them.  They understand you and support you when there is no one else around.  They make our lives more full regardless of how annoying they can be at times.  Also, I know it’s a personal choice but if you are able to, get your animals from shelters.  Those are animals that already exist and need to be loved just as much as any other animal.

I miss you Snowball, everyday.  You are in my heart and always will be.

Huggles and kisses