As if, if I don’t post it on here it’s not real.  But it is real, very very real.  I broke my ankle.  While at an event I was carrying my costumes to the dressing room and fell down some stairs causing my fibula to break in two spots and my ligaments to be ripped out of the ankle joint.  Of course I didn’t know that till I was at the hospital after the ambulance ride, the xrays and the surgery.  It was horrible.

It still is.  I am in my second week of bed rest and I can’t stand it. I am anxious, I am lonely, I keep trying to keep my spirit high but I’m so scared.  I’m scared, what if it doesn’t heal right? What if I need more and more and more surgeries.  What if it takes more than 6 months to heal.  What if I never walk properly again.  What if I can’t perform again.

I know I’m not the only performer to break their ankle.  I’m not alone but it’s hard when you are stuck in an apartment with nothing but a computer to keep you company not to feel that way from time to time.  I’m sure I’ll heal fine and I’ll be back to normal within a year but it’s still so frightening. Everytime I turn the wrong way it sends shooting waves of pain up my body.  Nothing I do is right as far as I know cause no one around me knows.

So if I seem a little distant on here I apologize.  I am going to try and post when I have positive things going on but it’s going to be hard.  Not because of access but because of lack of motivation.  Again, I hope once I am further along it won’t seem so hopeless but right now, knowing I have another week before I can even begin to think about a hard cast, it seems endless.

Know that I love you and if I have anything to say about any of this, you will see me again.  Better and brighter.

Huggles and kisses.

Tags: ankle, broken, burlesque, injury

This entry was posted on Monday, November 2nd, 2009 at 10:39 am and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.